Normal is Just a Word,

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  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
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seafiish:


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theamericankid: Tip: don’t watch horror movies if you have a creepy cat Via the best fun site! Zoom

theamericankid:

Tip: don’t watch horror movies if you have a creepy cat


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(Source: calltherapist)


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carlosneverletgo: widdlez: nootherendoftheworldwilltherebe: dontbearuiner: sadienita: alittleveggies: requiemsong: mldmnnrdrprtr: crazylipgloss: thebatmanchild: athagazagoraphobic: invisicanada: About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I had a pokemon. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be - that wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. Third, Gary Oak was unconditionally and irrevocably a douchenozzle. Reblogging for the comment How old are you?  “ten” How long have you been ten? “…” HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN Misty looked at Ash, his breathing still heavy from carrying her on his bike as fast as he could through the long grass outside of Pallet Town. “You’re eyes are impossibly huge and black,” Misty said. “Your hair is… incredibly pointy, and doesn’t need product. Your face changes size and shape based on your feelings… and sometimes you speak like - like you’re from the 90’s. You never spend money on anything; you don’t go to the bathroom.” The silence hung there, thick and heavy like a Snorlax blocking the bike path.  “How old are you?” Misty asked, not sure if she wanted to know. “Ten,” Ash replied, with a slight smirk and an almost amused tone. Misty new that wasn’t true. Ash wasn’t like the other boys her age. He wasn’t even like her older sisters who ran the gym in Cerulean City. He was wiser and his passion was genuine. Ash didn’t just want to catch them all, he needed to. He was going to be the best there ever was no matter how long it took, which gave Misty this nagging in the back of her mind. She had to know for sure. “How long have you been ten?” she asked. Her voice weak, knowing full well the answer could change everything she thought she knew. “A while…” Ash said. His voice trailing off, as if he were losing himself in a flood of memories. Misty let out a faint gasp. She knew now. She was certain. “I know what you are,” she declared, as if whatever had been holding her back from accepting the truth, finally let go of her hand and let her fall right down the Diglett hole. Ash eyes were alive now, flickering like the flame on a Charmander’s tale. He stared right into her and said, ”Say it… out loud. Say it.” Misty’s heart was pounding louder than the thud of a Marowak’s bone club attack. Despite the now eerily silent meadow, she could barely be heard as she whispered, “Pokemon Trainer.” ^^^better story than twilight LOL Filed under: Twilight parodies that are better than Twilight reblogging for those comments XD I CAN’T EVEN Via Be Free. Be Wild. Be You. Zoom

carlosneverletgo:

widdlez:

nootherendoftheworldwilltherebe:

dontbearuiner:

sadienita:

alittleveggies:

requiemsong:

mldmnnrdrprtr:

crazylipgloss:

thebatmanchild:

athagazagoraphobic:

invisicanada:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I had a pokemon. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be - that wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. Third, Gary Oak was unconditionally and irrevocably a douchenozzle.

Reblogging for the comment

How old are you? 

“ten”

How long have you been ten?

“…”

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN

Misty looked at Ash, his breathing still heavy from carrying her on his bike as fast as he could through the long grass outside of Pallet Town.

“You’re eyes are impossibly huge and black,” Misty said. “Your hair is… incredibly pointy, and doesn’t need product. Your face changes size and shape based on your feelings… and sometimes you speak like - like you’re from the 90’s. You never spend money on anything; you don’t go to the bathroom.”

The silence hung there, thick and heavy like a Snorlax blocking the bike path. 

“How old are you?” Misty asked, not sure if she wanted to know.

“Ten,” Ash replied, with a slight smirk and an almost amused tone.

Misty new that wasn’t true. Ash wasn’t like the other boys her age. He wasn’t even like her older sisters who ran the gym in Cerulean City. He was wiser and his passion was genuine.

Ash didn’t just want to catch them all, he needed to. He was going to be the best there ever was no matter how long it took, which gave Misty this nagging in the back of her mind. She had to know for sure.

“How long have you been ten?” she asked. Her voice weak, knowing full well the answer could change everything she thought she knew.

“A while…” Ash said. His voice trailing off, as if he were losing himself in a flood of memories.

Misty let out a faint gasp. She knew now. She was certain.

“I know what you are,” she declared, as if whatever had been holding her back from accepting the truth, finally let go of her hand and let her fall right down the Diglett hole.

Ash eyes were alive now, flickering like the flame on a Charmander’s tale.

He stared right into her and said, ”Say it… out loud. Say it.”

Misty’s heart was pounding louder than the thud of a Marowak’s bone club attack.

Despite the now eerily silent meadow, she could barely be heard as she whispered, “Pokemon Trainer.”

^^^better story than twilight

LOL

Filed under: Twilight parodies that are better than Twilight

reblogging for those comments XD

I CAN’T EVEN

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theamericankid: Not sure if i want to cuddle it or squish it Via the best fun site!

theamericankid:

Not sure if i want to cuddle it or squish it


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(Source: tudoefase)


Via - all i can do is freeze;

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(Source: meowpurrlick)


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the-absolute-best-gifs:

do-you-have-a-flag:

The animators for the Dinosaurs in Jurassic Park practicing their dinosaur runs

Perfection. I have found it.

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard


Via Be Free. Be Wild. Be You.

Video 16158Notes

danielpdykes:

The kiss of death.

This astonishing sculpture forms part of Barcelona’s Poblenou Cemetery.  The Kiss of Death (El Petó de la Mortin Catalan and El beso de la muerte in Spanish) dates back to 1930. A winged skeleton bestows a kiss on the lips of a handsome young man: is it ecstasy on his face or resignation? Little wonder the sculpture elicits strong and varying responses from whoever gazes upon it.


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Text 962Notes

adamusprime:

OH HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS MIGHT NOT BELIEVE ME BUT I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE

TODAY I SAW A BLIND GUY WALKING DOWN THE STREET WEARING ALL CAMOUFLAGE

IT WAS LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD

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rozle27: “Magnus watched him go with sad eyes. Not a human sort of sad, Simon thought. His eyes seemed to contain the sadness of great ages, as if the sharp edges of human sadness had been worn down to something softer by the passing of years, the way sea water wore away the sharp edges of glass.”- City of Fallen Angels, pg. 253 Just a small biro sketch I did.  Via Eris' Apple Zoom

rozle27:

“Magnus watched him go with sad eyes. Not a human sort of sad, Simon thought. His eyes seemed to contain the sadness of great ages, as if the sharp edges of human sadness had been worn down to something softer by the passing of years, the way sea water wore away the sharp edges of glass.”
- City of Fallen Angels, pg. 253

Just a small biro sketch I did. 


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